I have just moved house, which may explain my recent lack of blogs. The list of jobs has seemingly been endless, some of which were not anticipated. For a start, everything leaked – the shower leaked, a radiator leaked, the stop cocked leaked and bathroom pipes leaked. My car must have felt it was missing out and also started leaking (the power steering fluid, to be precise), There is also a long-running battle with Currys/Zanussi over a damaged washing machine (a long story that I won’t go into here – some things you cannot turn into comedy) and there is a list of maintenance jobs running into three pages.
On top of all this, we have mice in the attic.
We know it’s mice because we can hear the scurrying, scuttling, scratching and squeaking (mice have a vocabulary consisting solely of words beginning with ‘s’). After two weeks of this unwanted nocturnal activity, it was probably about time we did something about it. The local supermarket kindly stocked some mouse poison on their shelves, which we duly bought, but it wasn’t easy getting past the cute picture on the front of the box. The manufacturers clearly need a new PR advisor – they might just as well put an image of Jerry (as in Tom & Jerry) on the front, which would be enough to stop anyone buying the product.
There was also the baffling statement in the instructions, which read “Only to be used by amateur mouse killers”. I wondered whether I, the mere amateur could go ahead safe in the knowledge that professionals have their own methods or whether I, the mere novice should leave this dangerous poison to practiced amateurs and their kind?
Whatever, I’d hate to be in the shoes of the mouse that went to his friends and said, “Hey guys, I’ve found some food for us”, only to lead them to the poison and their imminent death. How could this mouse live with the guilt… oh, of course, it would be dead.
In the end, I couldn’t do it. I left the task to others, which begged the question, “Am I a man or a mouse?” The conclusion was apparent. I am a mouse.
February 17, 2011 at 8:33 am
Hello mouse, do you fancy taking me out for a meal one day?
Yours,
A.N.Other Mouse
February 17, 2011 at 9:03 am
Quality as always Meado. We moved house last year, but haven’t really tackled the majority of the jobs yet! There are a number of people at CV who have helped us out with advice and assistance, I’d be happy to pass on their details if needed.
February 18, 2011 at 8:03 am
I can lend you a cat. They are professional mouse killers.