Let me introduce you to George.
George is the perfect pet. He is clean, he is tidy, he doesn’t require walks and he pays his own way.
The downside to all this is that he is not a very good companion. He is never around. We never see him. We haven’t even met him. The thing is George might be a dog, but then again he might be a cat. For argument’s sake, let’s assume George is both dog and cat (and the best of each!)
But we do know that George exists – or at least, has existed. We know this about our friend George because we got a letter through the post addressed to him. It said that it is time for George to have a booster vaccination and health check. I do hope George remembers as this sounds rather important. It mentions fatal diseases and costly expenses if this appointment is missed. Poor George.
Alas, despite his absence, George has become a friend. He willingly and generously takes the blame for any historic mystery or mishap within the house.
Why is there a strange tint to some of the floorboards? Blame George. What is that dirty mark on the wall of the bathroom? Blame George. Why is the downstairs shower a health and safety hazard? Blame George. Why do none of the doors fit their frames? Blame George. The list is endless. What a guy!
So please join me in a toast:
Here’s to an absent friend, here’s to George!
